When I am in the Dark Place, I am listening to this song, posthaste.
"I never said I'd lie in wait forever
If I died, we'd be together now
I can't always just forget her
But she could try.."
There's a someone out there that haunts me. We had the chance at a family, but God had other plans. no one knows but the two of us. And I think of him in the quiet times.
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are never ever...
I see his face when I am happy. I see his smile when I smile, wondering if he is laughing somewhere, or if the grey has overtaken him as well. Do I call him? No. Write him? I wouldn't dare. Because what if he answered?
Ever...Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies
I carry him in my heart. The wars that we survived help me to survive the present battles.
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home, never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...
I've got marks, both physically and emotionally, that tell the story of what we lived through. And why no one can erase you. Will they always be here? Will they ever fade?
To give up the ghost is defined as: To die in a submissive, peaceful fashion; or to die quickly, with finality, often brutally.
Publicly, I gave up the ghost with you years ago. Truly, I am still dying, every millisecond. Because of the choices I made. And all I can do is write about it.
