30 Song Post Challenge- #20: A Song That You Listen To When You're Angry: "Don't Hurt Yourself" by Beyonce.
I need you to know, I am a Beyonce fan. But when LEMONADE came out, I was coming out of the roughest patch my marriage has ever seen. There were months where we were two people, living around each other. there was a bevy of tiny cuts, cold shoulders, endless bickering, then full on arguments, broken promises, anger, fury, distance, invisibility, pleading, crying, desperation... but there was also joy, understanding, and a deeper connection at the end of all of that.Where we are now looks like a different galaxy than where we were for that first decade of life together.
When we watched LEMONADE together (and yes, we watched it for the first time together in bed, absorbing it frame by frame on it's premier night), we relived every minute in this album. This was absolutely the most grown that Beyonce has ever sounded. She covered all of the timeline that happens in a marriage that has hit a speed bump. You see it happening, but you wonder, is it just me? Everything is fine, right? And then you see it unfolding into what you never thought would happen to you. You did everything the best that you could, and yet, here you are. a cliche. Dealing with some soap opera BS. So you get mad. REAL mad. then you get sad...and then you tell your friends. And you GET FURIOUS. that hot fury turns cold. and that is this song. This is my cold fury. Who the F*$% do you think I am??????? You think you can do all of this AND keep me???? Think again. Let me show you who you married, and let me show you how you lost me...
Who the fuck do you think I am?
You ain't married to no average bitch boy
You can watch my fat ass twist boy
As I bounce to the next dick boy
And keep your money, I've got my own
Keep a bigger smile on my face, being alone
Bad motherfucker, God complex
Motivate your ass call me Malcolm X
Yo operator, or innovator
Fuck you hater, you can't recreate her no
You'll never recreate her no, hero
I am the dragon breathing fire
Beautiful mane I'm the lion
Beautiful man I know you're lying
I am not broken, I'm not crying, I'm not crying
You ain't trying hard enough
You ain't loving hard enough
You don't love me deep enough
We not reaching peaks enough
Blindly in love, I fucks with you
'Til I realize, I'm just too much for you
I'm just too much for you
Hey baby, who the fuck do you think I am?
I smell that fragrance on your Louis Knit boy
Just give my fat ass a big kiss boy
Tonight I'm fucking up all your shit boy
Uh, this is your final warning
You know I give you life
If you try this shit again
You gonna lose your wife
I listen to this song when I am angry, and it gives me LIFE. I hope it does the same for you....
