The kid is off to school, hubby off to work, and I am stalling. There are a handful of "open songs" that need to be done but there's a ghost of one that wont let me go. It's given me no words or melody, nothing but the knowledge that it exists. It would be great to sit down and just write it...then I could move on. But the darn thing won't come out until it's ready. I have to find the right combination of headspace, sense memory, and emotion to unlock it. I learned a long time ago not to force it or you won't be happy with it.
It feels heavy, like being burdened with low hanging fruit on a tree. If I had to guess, this one doesn't feel like it's about love or family, heartbreak or passion. It feels more raw. This feels like loss, struggle, survival. Could it be about my E.D.? Living without my other baby? Death and tragedy, both literal and internal?
Even grazing the surface of that is making my heart clench.
It's coming...
Avalanche style...
But it's taking it's sweet time...
The slow burn is half the fun.
