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30 Songs: #11: A song from your fave band: "Broken Crown" by Mumford and Sons.

I don't adopt new bands into my collection lightly. I may like one or two songs, but to say I am a fan is a very different thing. Being the nerd that I am, I don't claim fandom unless I can fully commit. I like to be completely invested in the music, the writing, the message... The origin story and the journey have an impact on the music.

All of that being said, Mumford and Sons is the band that I have fallen in love with the most in the past 5 years. "Broken Crown" is a song that immediately struck a chord on many levels. Im going to post the lyrics altogether, because they speak volumes! It says so much about choice and free will vs fate and destination. We know what is technically right and wrong, but the heart wants what it wants... We see how things should go, but sometimes the bad choice gives that instant gratification we all can't help but yearn after. And worse, while we are all guilty of our own sin, the judgment and contempt... the SHADE that we throw to one another is despicable. This is the song that plays like my own personal testimony. I have no problem admitting my faults and missteps, but dont you dare stand as my judge and jury, because your closet is as full as mine...

http://www.2kmusic.com/en/webvideo/mumfordsons/1LBx2YjDtYg/broken-crown-by-mumford-and-sons-lyrics

Touch my mouth and hold my tongue
I'll never be your chosen one
I'll be home safe and tucked away
Well You can't tempt me if I don't see the day

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie
'Cause when I opened my body I breathe in a lie

I will not speak of your sin
There was a way out for Him
The mirror shows not
Your values are all shot

But oh my heart, was flawed I knew my weakness
So hold my hand consign me not to darkness

So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down
I'll never wear your broken crown
I took the road and I fucked it all away
Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace

So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down
I'll never wear your broken crown
I took the road and I fucked it all away
Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace

So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down
I'll never wear your broken crown
I can take the road and I can fuck it all away
But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate

Never Keeping Secrets

Radio silence is necessary once in awhile. Though I make no excuses for mine. It's difficult to explain but I feel... unsafe. Vulnerable in the worst way. Digging deep and climbing behind the same walls that were built for protection is the only way to get the quality of writing that I want. It's not good to be so closed off, so some of those walls didn't get put back and now I am at risk.  Damn it.

30 Song Posts #10 : A song that helps you sleep : "Walking After You" by The Foo Fighters.

The second verse says, "if you'd accept surrender, I'll give up some more..." The amount of push and pull that one line describes is crazy. And overwhelmingly relatable. Which is why I chose this song for this post. The music is a wonderful whiskey fueled lullabye, and then the lyrics spur me into thinking and mediating on love and what that means. The chorus repeats almost as a chant, "if you walk out on me, I'm walking after you...", That's so powerful. And sweet. And almost a vow. It's a promise and declaration. I put this song on, and I drift into the most peaceful of dreams.

I'm surprised to realize that I listen to this song in both times of sadness and joy, in both love and loss. It can be hopeful or desperate, depending on status of your heart. Dave Grohl, you sing my thoughts. If you haven't listened to it before, find a space to be alone, put on your headphones, and prepare to get lost.

Foo Fighters - Walking After You: http://youtu.be/rvorB7d2b8Y

You Never Can Tell

30 Song Post #9: A song that makes you dance: Feel Again by One Republic

There were more obvious choices, like "walking on sunshine", "footloose", or any of the swing/rockabilly music I love love love, but it's easier to use the last one that made me feel that way.

The song is catchy and bright, but it also speaks to a time of darkness, a time when everything was just more of the same. If I let myself dig deep into this song, it will break my heart. And the it will sew it back up as it reminds me that no matter how many times I made the wrong choice, how many times that I took the hit, it call worked out in the end. There's a man that loves me despite my mess, and I give him the same.

"It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face
I've been everywhere and back trying to replace
Everything that I had 'til my feet went numb
Praying like a fool that's been on the run

Heart's still beating but it's not working
It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring
I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing
Yeah, my heart is numb

But with you
I feel again
Yeah, with you
I can feel again...

It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face
I've been everywhere and back trying to replace
Everything that I broke 'til my feet went numb
Praying like a fool just shot the gun

Heart still beating but it's not working
It's like a hundred thousand voices that just can't sing
I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing
Oh, my heart is numb

But with you
I feel again...
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me...

The joy of this song starts in my head and runs full speed to my feet. I'm known for having it in repeat until I get out of a funk.

Side note: I'm loving these writing exercises! It's spurred my writing on in a crazy way! Reminding myself why I started, giving inspiration, and keeping me from getting blocked up.

Give Me Love

Song post #8: A song you know all the words to.

:::Can I just start by saying WOW!!! In just these last months, it's been crazy. I have been writing not just more, but better songs, which is a big deal to me because I love what I was writing before.

I stopped second guessing the words, stopped analyzing the process, and just wrote! Sure there have still been a few duds, but the good ones have been GREAT!

I'm focused less on the sound and more on the story. The sound will come on it's own. I can't really explain the joy of being able to take what I dream and create a reality. I love that my girl is singing my songs and recording them, but even if no one ever heard them, it would be enough to have given them life.. :::

That being said... a song that I know all of the words to. I'm going to reach back to a song that could never be done better than the original. It's not the best technical song, nor the catchiest, but I dare you to find a song that carries more meaning to a greater amount of people.

I chose "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. Even before they sing one word, you are hooked. I could go into the original content meaning and the story of why they wrote it, but honestly, you don't have to know any of that to know real songwriting:
"How I wish, how I wish you were here,
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.
Running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
Wish you were here..."

Chandelier

Song post #7: A song that reminds you of a certain event: "Breathe Me" by Sia

"Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe..."

... yes, the music is beautiful, and it builds to that devastating crescendo that could melt a polar ice cap, but the power of the phrasing in this song is undeniable. There's no place to hide. If you have never been at the end of your rope, hit a rock bottom, or had nothing left to lose, this song is not for you.

I first heard it in the series finale of "Six Feet Under", which for the record is still the greatest finale that I have ever seen.
Maybe that's why when I hear this song, I see a montage of events. I see my lows, I see the highs, and I see those moments in the lives of those around me. I remember finding my mother in the bathtub... And then I feel the joy when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. I see the day that I married my husband... And then I feel the empty place in my heart from the many friends that I have buried over the years.

There is no belting in this song, but it is a showstopper. If ever a song were meant for a soundtrack, "Breathe Me" fits the bill. No gimmicks, no double talk. It's not complicated. This song is quietly screaming for you to FEEL SOMETHING.
Breathe me video

Somewhere Only We Know

Song Post #6: a song that reminds you of somewhere. "Title and Registration" by Death Cab for Cutie.

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

This song reminds me of an old house usually filled with college boys, but on a certain Valentine's Day occupied only by one. Just he and I, staving off loneliness with UNO and music. We talked for hours, drifting off in between conversations. The day turned into night, and hands found hands, mouths found mouths...

This song had to have played 3 or four times throughout the day, and it will always be able to take me back to that day...the kind of day that would never work if it were planned. We had no clue at the time that the song would ultimately tell our story quite well.

Death Cab has a gift for creating an atmosphere of both reminisce and finality, which is an accurate way to describe my feelings on what happened at that house. Lines were crossed, memories made, but I'm fine with them remaining just that... Memories. It's nice to visit once in a while. I just don't want to stay there.

I Don't Know You Anymore

30 post song challenge #5- a song that reminds me of someone. It occurred to me that yesterday's post covered that more than a song that makes me sad (as was the objective yesterday), so I will llet yesterday's stand for today. 

So, a song that makes me sad...I immediately thought of "Hate Me" by Blue October. It just pulls at the gut. He was a mess, tearing himself apart piece by piece. The more he self destructed the harder she held on, just trying to hold him together. In the end, he loves her enough to want her to be happy, even if that means she has to stop loving him! As long as she loves him, she won't ever give up on him. My heart breaks everytime he screams "Hate me today...tomorrow...for all the things I didn't do for you...so you can finally see what's good for you."

If you listen to that song enough times, you will start to feel like one of these characters (or in my case, both of them depending on where my head is at). I have been this woman, killing myself to save the person that I love. Ignoring every sign that says to run like hell. I have been him as well...so lost in my own demons that I couldn't for the life of me understand why this person put up with my crazy...alternately pushing them away and desperately needing them to stay. 

We are who we are, deep down. Everyone has their demons, and sometimes we conquer them, sometimes we don't. You can waste lifetimes waiting for someone to want to change. I'm a romantic. I believe suffering is a part of all great love stories. I believe in possibility. But this songs reminds me that sometimes we have to see things for what they are.